Reflections

Taking a few hits along the way

Lately life has dealt me some challenges, but I suppose everyone can say that. Here’s the thing--for the first time in my life I have lost all sense of direction. I am only holding on by the threads of my daily routine and the occasional social interaction. Changing directions with the Queen Mary is just about as hard as it seems--that is exactly what changing directions with my life is like. As I proceed with these changes, slowly integrating them in between the pages of my ‘normal’ routine I have come to see why the turtle beats the hare every time.

Knowing why I ended up exactly where I am now is almost scarier that not knowing why. My own fear, whether of being put into a box or becoming some stereotype, directed my path but no longer am I letting it take control. It is only through times of turbulent wind that we can see what really defines ourselves.

Soon Thanksgiving will be upon us, and this year I will not be home with my family. While I find this thought daunting, because we all know how much better the holidays are when shared with bickering family members, I know that this separation is only temporary. Who can really tell what another 365 days can bring us?

My point is this, realizing that I was wrong maybe the hardest pill to swallow but knowing I can change this is liberating. I have always been a person to want it ‘all’. I have had the material things and the personal relationships but yet I still yearned for that something more. It was then which I realized that I was not yet complete. Truth be told maybe I don’t really want it all--just a nice piece.